Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Beers of Gwar

Beers of Gwar,

That'd be a sweet as game. They already have a miniature game that I own the rule book of (how could I resist an oddity like that) so it wouldn't be a huge surprise to see them jump into video game form like some of their other brethren. However, I'm not here to muse on Band-to-Game transitions (see what I did there?) but rather to rant about Gears of War 2.

Beers of Gwar 2. Yes. Inside a giant worm. Christ, it even sounds like a Gwar song.

*Minor Spoilettes below*

Did I enjoy it: Yes.
Did it awe me a certain points: Yes
Was I shocked when Dom found his wife: Yes
Was it challenging: Not as much as GOW1
Did it have a Halo 2 like ending: Yes
Did it crumble apart after the 4th chapter: Yes
Did it have a final boss: No
Did it have a final encounter that you beat by pressing a button over and over: Yes

I admit maybe I was tainted by Yahtzee's review but I felt unsatisfied with the experience. The locals were schizophrenic yet completely without break. You're on on big mission that doesn't seem to slow down; the only reason I wanted a bit of a stop maybe to touch in with HQ or whatnot was so the story could be fleshed out a little bit more.

The backbone of GOW2's story is hints. Everything alludes to something else that will happen but not in this game. It will all be wrapped up nicely in the third one. Mankind has an obsession with threes and I have a theory on that one. Most of these hints come from the collectibles in the game which just means that there's even less interesting tidbits if you're just running through the entire thing. It's time to get the locusts and their seemingly human queen because they're jerks!

The coworker that lent me the game asked me, after listening to some of the negative comments seen above, 'Did you at least enjoy the game?' My answer was yes because I did, especially since the last game I picked up was Dark Sector: yes, the game with one gimmick and a story that completely disjointed almost to the point of being nonsensical. However, I preferred the narrative in 'Dumb Sector' more because it was so terribly strung together.

I guess the point is that maybe I've become too critical of video games. I did have fun playing through GOW2 but I wanted more fun darnit. I wanted more immersion and harder, grub infested battles like in the first one. I wanted scenes that I would remember fondly like first encountering lambent wretches outside the factory in the rain or the mine cart rides or defending a gas station from a TON of locusts or fearing for my avatar's life when a boomer would show up. Maybe I'm just coming down with sequelitis disappointicus.